Knit and Bonded

Finals done! Phew! This was one difficult semester.  I was tidying up my desk and keeping my notes away when I came across something given by a friend earlier this week. It was a Red Maple leaf…dried and intact. He gave it to me the night before he left for India. I took it from him giving him a what-is-this? kind of a look.

He and me are constantly pulling each other’s legs and generally joking and laughing around. So I was surprised yet confused to get the serious looking leaf from him. Seeing the question mark on my face, he just said, “Think. I will talk to you soon”. I went upstairs and got back to my books to study for the finals I had the next day. I remembered something and thought about the leaf…observed it carefully…the dried, pressed fall leaf…with its color and intricate network intact. Thoughts rushed to my head but I saved them to be penned down in this blog after I was done with my exams. 

Rohit is my colleague at the University of South Carolina, Columbia. We enrolled at the same time in Fall 2007…he for MBA and me for Biotechnology. After graduating, starting a company with Amit and Ganesh, he was leaving for India for some days/months to help his dad in his work. The four of us have been very close friends and now a year after graduation, it was time to disperse. Once while driving to Charlotte, Rohit mentioned he is going to India in April and is not sure when he will come back. We were all singing and joking in the car till then. The moment he said this…something struck me. We meet people, we become friends, have an amazing time together, and suddenly we go our separate ways. When he told us about leaving all the memories rushed in my mind – our movie nights where the 4 of us would huddle around a laptop, the late night coffee at Cool Beans, Starbucks, the talks about diet and exercise (Rooooo! :)), the life discussions at Beezers, golf, etc, etc, etc. I realized there were tears streaming down my eyes. Amit had no idea what was wrong with me. Ganesh and Mudit thought that I was crying because Rohit had scared me talking about the Wolfman attacking me (had just watched the movie). But it was the thought of the memories of the wonderful times I spent with these lovely friends and the fact that no one is sure if it all can be replayed that made me sad.

When I looked at the leaf the other day, I realized what Ro might be trying to tell me. The Red Maple leaf was old, dried, separated from the tree and the other leaves – yet it was undamaged - red-orange in color with its veins intricate and intact. 

It said no matter how far we all might be from each other, we are still bonded intricately, delicately and this bond needs to be cared for. A slight fold will break the veins, break the ties. It also said leaves fall, leaves fly and reach different places…but they are still the leaves of the same tree…still connected, still identified. True friends can grow separately without growing apart. 

 

Me???

Someone has said: Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

“Should I do this? Should I do that? Is it OK? What will they think of me? What if anybody laughs at me? Will I even be able to do it? C’mon I am not a kid to do that?”…have you ever heard these rattling conversations going on in your own mind? If yes, then stop ‘em! Don’t take yourself too seriously! Haha wait! You may say…what?? Don’t take “myself” too seriously? Am I not important for myself? Of course I should think about myself and for that I need to take myself seriously! Well…I beg to differ. As ironic as it may seem…you will enjoy more and love yourself more if you do not take yourself too seriously. 

 I would do this too and think about people’s reactions to what I do…what I do coz I like...love to do. I would think twice before going out and jumping around in the rain all by myself. What would passers-by think of me if they saw me? – I would think.

Be ready to laugh at yourself. I read this somewhere: “Don’t take yourself too seriously...angels fly coz they take themselves lightly“  True ain’t it? If you think you are falling…get up face it…laugh at it and the silly mistake you might have made…restart and finish a winner! Coz if you don’t take yourself seriously, you’ve got a chance. It’s when you take yourself seriously and you begin to believe all this bullshit that you can really stumble. This is a very good thing to remember when you are fighting resistance – the “perfection – induced” one. Don’t hesitate to do something coz you think you are not good at it and might go wrong. Go ahead! Go wrong! You might come with something new by not adhering to a standard protocol. 

You don’t need a conscious reason for doing what you want to do. You don’t need anyone’s permission. “Because I feel like it” is a good enough reason for you. Now of course I will not wake up at like 2am and dance to loud music. That is like doing what I feel like and overstepping other people’s boundaries. There’s a difference between not doing something because you would harm other people, and not doing something because of what others might think about you. Ever watched children playing? They do all sorts of fun things, silly role-playing, climbing trees, crazy games… and they absolutely don’t care what others think about that. After all, it’s okay for a child to be acting silly. When you stop taking yourself too seriously, you can really have fun! Just get in touch with that creative I-don’t-care-what-others-think attitude. Just like a child, you simply do your own thing and enjoy it.

But then there is another extreme to this. Read this experience of mine. I had gone to Charleston in March with Amie, Roshni and Shirin. We visited the Charleston market by the port. This market, located in a tunnel-like structure, had all sorts of handicrafts and interesting trinkets. There was this woman sitting outside the market weaving lovely cane baskets. I aimed my camera to capture her and her art. As soon as she spotted me…she hid her face! I was like what…? Then I realized…this small town old woman…shy, modest, apprehensive about being stored in someone’s chemical memories – did not take herself seriously. Her awesome art was strewn in front of her…but still she was shy…down-to-earth. Here is where you need to be proud of yourself. I would have been. Confident and sure that you are good, you have ability, you make a difference.  

“Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten”

-          Natasha Bedingfield

Remember this from the Pursuit of Happiness: “Don’t ever let somebody tell you, you can’t do something. You got a dream; you gotta protect it.”

The American Cancer Society - Relay For Life at the University of South Carolina:

The American Cancer Society - Relay For Life at the University of South Carolina: