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I was in tears – almost! Called up the cab office and told them what had happened and requested the cabbie to check his car for my black leather wallet that might have got camouflaged in the seats of his cab. His negative answer made my being almost in tears to actually shedding tears! Frustration that had reached its acme + tired mind + tired body + tension = I plop my bag down on the floor and sit down with a thud and almost break my pinky!! My poor little finger! I cry even more. Amit and Rohit call up – I am crying. They come to my apartment. I block all my cards and call 911 (God knows what they can do in this situation). Within 10 seconds, the cabbie calls up saying he has found my wallet under the seat when he was cleaning his car!! Thank G!! I go to meet him and take my wallet. Pay him like $20 for being such a kind soul and call up the SSN office to place a fraud alert.
So yes – too much in two days right?? Say yes please! I could not handle more. Every instant of these 2 days I asked, “why me?” I was even wearing a new charm (a gift I received) around my neck that would keep the evil away. In spite of that so much bad together? Well, it was not so bad if you went to dissect each and every situation. But the cumulative effect had a toll on me. I sat thinking – is this so called “protective” charm having a negative effect instead?? I decided to take it off. But my friend Niranjan said “don’t do that…the charm has probably gotten rid of all the bad at once – and all that follows will be good!!” I didn’t have the heart to question it either – coz it was gifted to me by a person closest to me.
The next day – Wednesday – my day started off as usual with biochemistry. I was awake in class – positive #1, my teaching went off well and students were happy – positive #2, lab went off not as bad – positive # 3, dance n singing practice rocked – positive # 4, saw a shooting star on the way back home after practice – positive # 5! Niranjan said “I think u shud wear it cuz I think it got out all the bad days for u. That shooting star is a sign of good days to come!” haha! Thanks dude!! I wore the charm around my neck again that night.
I have never been superstitious. But these things guide your mind into thinking…what if ‘this’ happened due to ‘that’? Are these simply coincidences? Or is there a meaning to belief? Does one always dissect situations and look for indications life is giving? Or is it only when bad happens that you question it? Things bundle up and happen so much together that you feel like abdicating your place in the being. But at the same time a positive splash after that confirms that there is a higher power – playing these games, making you stronger, patient, optimistic, humble. I read somewhere that courage means to bear unflinchingly what heaven sends. So should I be proud that I am alive and kicking in spite of cumulative frustrations? Does that make me strong? Yes! Everything that doesn’t destroy me makes me stronger. Everything that does, makes me start afresh!
This intricate web of life's ups and downs make it worth living and an ineresting mysterious adventure - something to look forward to always - with anxiety or anticipation.
God allows life to be rocky. His challenge is not to let the rocks grind you into dust; but to polish you to become a brilliant all-withstanding gem. Right? So here’s a thumbs-up for all the pebbles turning into gems!!
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Y’all might ask me why I am writing a blog on negative things instead of sharing happy happy stuff. Haha!So well…sometimes it happens that all things just are tied together and pushed on us. I am referring to the positive and negative situations, both.
So this past week I was dead!! Half dead due to dance and singing practice for the diwali function + classes + teaching + lab + public transport!! And my remaining half death occurred due to this package of negatives!
Monday saw me attending lectures the entire day and going to lab after that at like 4pm. I use the public transport and have to take two buses to reach lab. Guess what? Climbed in the wrong second bus!! And to its favor it goes in a totally opposite direction from the Richland hospital where the cancer lab is. So yeah I wasted like an hour there. So you might say “big deal! One hour of life gone – does not matter!”Haha! Yes! But it did matter to me coz I had to stay in lab for an hour extra – it was a time-bound experiment. So when I reached lab, I had this uncontrollable urge to have the tiramisu at the canteen there. But alas they were out of it! I wearily took the elevator upstairs and into the lab. I realized that the results from the previous step were not as I had gotten them before. Had to redo some things now. Frustration!
Tuesday – no neuro class. That means go to lab early. I board the right buses this time…reach lab, look at my mouse cells. Look at my immunofluorescence staining. It does not look good. My cells are contaminated!! The whole lab is!! All of us have lost time and efforts and cells. Arrrgh! Ok I start afresh. I stay in lab till like 8 pm. Tired, I decide not to board the bus and take a cab instead – its faster. I reach home, pay the cabbie, give him a tip and come upstairs to my apartment. I fish my pockets for my wallet (card holder) to keep the change. And guess what?! Yeah you guessed it right!! My wallet was missing! I searched my bag, tried to remember where all I went in my apartment after entering, went downstairs and traced my path back home from where I had gotten out of the cab – all in vain. Dude! It had my credit cards, my driver’s license, my health insurance card and my SSN card.
I was in tears – almost! Called up the cab office and told them what had happened and requested the cabbie to check his car for my black leather wallet that might have got camouflaged in the seats of his cab. His negative answer made my being almost in tears to actually shedding tears! Frustration that had reached its acme + tired mind + tired body + tension = I plop my bag down on the floor and sit down with a thud and almost break my pinky!! My poor little finger! I cry even more. Amit and Rohit call up – I am crying. They come to my apartment. I block all my cards and call 911 (God knows what they can do in this situation). Within 10 seconds, the cabbie calls up saying he has found my wallet under the seat when he was cleaning his car!! Thank G!! I go to meet him and take my wallet. Pay him like $20 for being such a kind soul and call up the SSN office to place a fraud alert.
So yes – too much in two days right?? Say yes please! I could not handle more. Every instant of these 2 days I asked, “why me?” I was even wearing a new charm (a gift I received) around my neck that would keep the evil away. In spite of that so much bad together? Well, it was not so bad if you went to dissect each and every situation. But the cumulative effect had a toll on me. I sat thinking – is this so called “protective” charm having a negative effect instead?? I decided to take it off. But my friend Niranjan said “don’t do that…the charm has probably gotten rid of all the bad at once – and all that follows will be good!!” I didn’t have the heart to question it either – coz it was gifted to me by a person closest to me.
The next day – Wednesday – my day started off as usual with biochemistry. I was awake in class – positive #1, my teaching went off well and students were happy – positive #2, lab went off not as bad – positive # 3, dance n singing practice rocked – positive # 4, saw a shooting star on the way back home after practice – positive # 5! Niranjan said “I think u shud wear it cuz I think it got out all the bad days for u. That shooting star is a sign of good days to come!” haha! Thanks dude!! I wore the charm around my neck again that night.
I have never been superstitious. But these things guide your mind into thinking…what if ‘this’ happened due to ‘that’? Are these simply coincidences? Or is there a meaning to belief? Does one always dissect situations and look for indications life is giving? Or is it only when bad happens that you question it? Things bundle up and happen so much together that you feel like abdicating your place in the being. But at the same time a positive splash after that confirms that there is a higher power – playing these games, making you stronger, patient, optimistic, humble. I read somewhere that courage means to bear unflinchingly what heaven sends. So should I be proud that I am alive and kicking in spite of cumulative frustrations? Does that make me strong? Yes! Everything that doesn’t destroy me makes me stronger. Everything that does, makes me start afresh!
This intricate web of life's ups and downs make it worth living and an ineresting mysterious adventure - something to look forward to always - with anxiety or anticipation.
God allows life to be rocky. His challenge is not to let the rocks grind you into dust; but to polish you to become a brilliant all-withstanding gem. Right? So here’s a thumbs-up for all the pebbles turning into gems!!
4 comments:
Oh Chaitali, I didn't know you were having a such a bad week, but you have been such a brave soul. You are right, what doesn't destroy you only makes you stronger. keep rocking!
Heyy Chaitu, awesome job on writing this one!! Well, all of us are gonna be gems one day... so cheers to that day and the process!!
well its said that "Shit Happens" but in ur case it was full blown diarrhea.!! The incident does look like one of thse moments that literally took your breadth away...not necessarily in a pleasant way but nonetheless. Its not just important to learn the lesson from the shit that happens in your life but its important to learn the 'right' lesson...and i am glad that u learnt the right one...ur life in the phoren land does seem to be happening...!!!
haha anup it is happening! :) teaching me things in its own way :)
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